so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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