aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
