____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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