Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
