I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
