Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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