So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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