I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
