Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
