We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
