The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
