I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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