He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
