Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
