for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
