Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have aggressive nipples.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
