carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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