so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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