Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
