You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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