I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
