I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
