Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
