i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
