Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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