you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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