last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have feelings that need drinking.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pooping to opera.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
