if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dont even know how to be here
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
