Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
