Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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