i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
