i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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