Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
