he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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