He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
