Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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