i think my tv is drunk
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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