just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
