Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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