drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
