Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
