ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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