you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
