I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
