Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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