I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
