i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
