I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
