why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
So. Much. Porn.
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