I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
