just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
