I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
