I'm really into asian looking animals
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
