They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
this will be a night to untag.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Green mimosas i think yes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
